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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29521443">The Mad Drunk Man (College AU)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/propertyofpoeandbucky/pseuds/propertyofpoeandbucky'>propertyofpoeandbucky</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Poe Dameron Oneshots [89]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:56:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>754</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29521443</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/propertyofpoeandbucky/pseuds/propertyofpoeandbucky</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt #951</p><p>“Hello, sorry to bug you. Did you happen to see a naked man run down this way? Perhaps holding a chicken?”</p><p>“W-What?”</p><p>“I’m guessing that’s a no.” from @writers-are-writers from tumblr</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Poe Dameron &amp; Reader, Poe Dameron &amp; You, Poe Dameron/Reader, Poe Dameron/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Poe Dameron Oneshots [89]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2115642</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Mad Drunk Man (College AU)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You sat in the corner of the booth watching Poe and his friends down shot after shot. You were Poe’s designated driver so you were drinking water. You all had just finished another semester of college and it was summer break. You were celebrating. However, you weren’t much of a shots person, or a drinker at that. But Poe insisted you come along with him and his friends. You watched as they drank, laughed, and reminisced over the semester. Hours later, everyone decided to move this “party” to Snap’s apartment. So you drove Poe and some of his friends to Snap’s place while Rey drove the rest of the gang there.</p><p>You helped everyone out of the cars, making sure they don’t fall on their asses and practically carry Poe up the stairs. He was so drunk.</p><p>You started to limit Poe’s alcohol intake. No shots, only half glasses of beer now, drinking a glass of water every other time.</p><p>“Alright! Truth or Dare!” Jess slurred.</p><p>Everyone formed a circle in the living room. You sat on the couch and Poe was resting his head on your lap. </p><p>“Poe! Truth or Dare?” Jess asked.</p><p>“Dare,” your boyfriend said proudly and you groaned. You knew Poe would never back down from a dare.</p><p>“I dare you to….steal one of Mr. Ackbar’s chickens and run down the street with it naked.”</p><p>Your eyes widened, “Jess! What the he-”</p><p>“CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!” Poe shot up from you lap and staggered towards the door.</p><p>“Poe, stop! You can’t-”</p><p>“Babyyyy, I’ll be fiiiine! It’s dark! No one see me!” Poe slurred as he walked out of the apartment, down the stairs, and across the street to wear old man Ackbar lived. His front yard was littered with his chickens. So you, and everyone else, anxiously watched Poe as he crept through the wooden gate and began to chase the chickens around. Everyone, except you and Rey, were laughing their asses off. For a while, Poe was struggling but then somehow he caught one. </p><p>“Hold this!” poe said handing you the chicken.</p><p>“Poe, please, don’t-” Poe quickly stripped down to his bare naked, but beautiful, butt. His friends hollered and whistled and he gave them all a playful wink. He then snatched the chicken out of your arms. </p><p>He sighed and then lifted the chicken above his head, “AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!” he ran down the sidewalk and onto the empty street. Everyone doubled over laughing. </p><p>You groaned, “God dammit. Poe!” you ran after him. In his drunken state of mind, he was completely unpredictable. Poe was a fast runner, so it was hard to catch up to him. At one point, you lost sight of him, but you could still hear him. </p><p>You watched as a car drove up to the sidewalk and parked. As a man stepped out of the car, you ran up to him, <b>“Hello, sorry to bug you. Did you happen to see a naked man run down this way? Perhaps holding a chicken?”</b></p><p>The man looked at you like you were crazy, <b>“W-What?”</b></p><p><b>“I’m guessing that’s a no.”</b> you sighed and continued to jog down the street, straining your ears for any sign of Poe.</p><p>“Poe?” you whispered loudly, “P-AH!” you were pulled behind a tree and a hand slapped over your mouth.</p><p>“Ssshhh. Quiet.” it was Poe and you relaxed.</p><p>You moved his hand away, “Alright, Poe Drunkman. I think it’s time for us to get you dressed and get you home.”</p><p>Poe nodded, “M’kay.” You held Poe’s hand tightly as you walked back to Snap’s place. They were all still crowded along the sidewalk when you came back. Everyone was applauding him, followed by loud “ssssshhhh!”</p><p>You sighed, “Alright, everyone. We’re gonna head home now.”</p><p>“AAAAWWW!” </p><p>“Enough of that! Poe almost got arrested! So we’re calling it a night.”</p><p>Everyone waved as you and Poe collected his clothes and headed back to your apartment.</p><hr/><p>The next morning, Poe woke up with a mind splitting headache, “Oh what the hell?”</p><p>“There’s pills and water on the bedside,” you said from your desk.</p><p>Poe reached over and stuffed the two pills laid out for him in his mouth and downed half of the glass of water, “Never drinking that much again. Did I do anything stupid?”</p><p>You turned around in your chair smirking at him, “Check snapchat.”</p><p>“Oh no…” you heard him unlock his phone and moments later you heard Poe’s drunken self screaming from his phone, “I RAN DOWN THE STREET NAKED AND CARRYING A CHICKEN?!”</p>
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